Carol Oldham, Hacienda Heights, CA – Proposition 8

Dear Leaders,

I believe in “long suffering” and faith. During my 66 years in the church I have exercised those virtues. During the time Black people were denied privileges, and interracial marriage was considered “not normal” I secretly mourned. Today I wear black to church, wear my rainbow colored ribbon,* and mourn openly. It is not a show. My tears make it real. I still have another secret mourning that is unspeakable because I value my temple marriage and my membership in the church.

Do you remember how much your teacher loved you in kindergarten? How when you went on walks together she wanted you all to be safe and enjoy the trip, so she put you together as partners. You all took your turn to drink the pure, clear water at the same drinking fountain. That’s what marriage is. My husband and I have been married for 40 years, and we walk together as partners who look out for each other, and drink from the fountain of marriage. If we support Proposition 8 we keep some from drinking from that fountain. They walk alone without choice and the support and benefits of society. Theirs is a second-class, separate kind of partnership that is not marriage. Your teacher would tell you to make room on the rug so everyone can learn together. The only children that would have to leave the rug would be those who hurt others.

My faith is that Christ’s teachings will be fulfilled and one day all his children will be one in His gospel of love and kindness.

Carol Oldham

*When someone asks about my ribbon I hand them a card in hopes that I might be a safe haven for those who are gay:
“If you are gay I want you to know I love you.
I will never deride you in public or private.
It is my belief that you art part of a blessed group
who have the capacity to act as “angels amongst us”
offering beauty and kindness
as a salve for what is lacking in the world.
Thank you for being you.”